Attention all thrill seekers, adventure explorers, travel searchers… in a rut? Looking to spice up your life a little? Always dreamed of traveling, experiencing a new culture, new way of life? Actually considering relocating your family to a new country for a few years? Before you quit your job and go all Peter Gibbons (..”I don’t like my job, and, uh, I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore”), start purchasing a bunch of Ziploc® Space Bag® Sealed closet bags or investing in the Rosetta Stone, take my quiz first to see if you are ready:
1. You are in a foreign land and can’t speak the language, and you need to schedule a mammogram. What do you do? Do you a) actually take a guy up on the offer depicted on his t-shirt: “place boobs here; free mammogram”; or b) request a list of English-speaking doctors in the local area from hubby’s company.
2. You are in a foreign land and can’t speak the language, are by yourself and have just filled up your car with gas. When you try to pay for said purchase, all your cards are being declined and you have no cash on you. What do you do? a) start running and simply assume you can get a new rental car later; or b) thank your lucky stars that the gas station has an ATM, with English options, and doesn’t decline your card.
3. In your new foreign (and hot and humid) land, you receive your first home electronic bill – over $700 US dollars. After confirming the bill is accurate – you turn off your AC. You are now sitting in front of your computer typing your blog, sweating because it’s hot and humid, and you start to consider your hubby sitting in his nice and AIR CONDITIONED office and your children sitting in their nice and AIR CONDITIONED classrooms – what do YOU do? a) you shut doors and blinds and turn on fans to get air moving and make it somewhat liveable and figure all this sweat will clean your pores – and hey, maybe help to lose a small bit of weight easily; or b) you turn on the AC.
4. In your new foreign land, it’s 9:00pm and your hubby just got finished working out to T25 and is covered in sweat. You now discover that your house has no running water – go: do you a) throw hubby out in the yard with instructions on how to do a rain dance; or b) pour bottled water into jugs so that hubby may rinse himself off before coming to bed.
5. In your new foreign land (you know the one – the land where you don’t speak the language) – you desperately need your hair colored. You’ve been warned about businesses taking advantage of foreigners regrading currency (“oh sure, you can charge me twice the normal amount because I have no idea what you are saying… great, gracias“) What’s a girl to do here? a) you try and color your hair yourself at home, doing it wrong and permanently staining half of your bathroom-towels and part of the walls around the sink, without the results you were hoping for and doing some serious damage to your tresses; or b) you find someone with beautiful hair, and with your handy phone translator app, ask which salon they go to and how much it costs.
I’m not going to grade your quiz, but I will share that for mine – all the answers would be “b”. But if reading those questions and imagining yourself in those situations causes you any stress or anxiety, fear or trepidation, then: a) welcome to my world; and b) YES! you are ready to relocate to a new country and should totally move.
I’ve done a lot of online research on many issues my family and I are currently facing in our foreign land – I love the Internet and firmly believe if you just string together the correct search terms, Google can find the answers to all your questions. I recently came across this column which made me laugh-out-loud: “The 5 Weirdest Side Effects of Moving to a New Country” (if you check it out – just be warned it has a bit of foul language… but if you managed to get past “boobs” earlier – you’ll be fine). Here’s the thing: as long as you can still laugh while being stressed, anxious, fearful or trepided (?) intrepid (?), whatever – as long as you can still find the humor in those situations – I think you’ll be okay in any country.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go crank up the AC – it’s really hot in here today.